White or Red?

Mar 312009
 

I am frequently asked if I wore a white wedding gown. Of course. But, even better, it was couture.

(Advantage number 27 to getting married later in life – a budget.)

But, my dress, more than just being dreamy, showed me that I had chosen the right man.

Susan, my designer told me during one fitting, “Whatever you do, don’t drink red wine in this dress.” Sigh. She was right. Half way through the reception I realized somehow, what appeared to be, an entire glass of red wine had been spilled down the front of my dress. Eee-gads.

Friends tried to help blot out the stain in the ladies room. It helped. But, it was still there. Being the “more mature” bride, I did not let it ruin my trip around the room in the conga line. I did what any LBB would do. I switched to white.

The next morning, as I began to pack for our trip to Hawaii (for two weeks, baby – another budgetary LBB advantage!), Husband proceeded to research red wine removal tricks on the Internet. Within minutes, he was on his hands and knees in the kitchen, wedding dress draped over 2 kitchen chairs (did I mention it had an extensive train?), blotting out the stain with hydrogen peroxide. He spent 6 hours doing this. While I packed. Until his hands turned white. Just like my dress.

 March 31, 2009  Posted by Suzanne on March 31, 2009 3 Responses »

Marry a Set of Skills

Mar 302009
 

So, what’s the best part of getting married late in life? They actually know how to do stuff.

Unless you’re Demi Moore, you probably have married someone close to your own age. And, this means they have at least once had to take care of things.

For about 40 years, I was responsible for every last thing from brewing my own tea to calling up the maid service. (You didn’t actually think I was going to spend my Saturdays forever wanding out the toilet bowl, now, did you?) And, taking out the garbage (like he did this morning) is just the beginning.

The best move I ever made was to marry a set of skills. There is a saying in the South: do not advertise your man. But, I cannot help but wax poetic about certain things about Husband. He is good at many things, but he is positively genius at the following (in order): finances, technology, business management, electrical anything (he has an electrical engineering degree), loading and unloading the dishwasher, and staying calm when I’m sick. (Nothing grosses this man out.)

For one, let’s get to the really applicable part of his genius – tech support. Yes, that’s right, I have a built-in geek squad right in my own house. Can I just tell you how fabulous it is that I can just plop my laptop on his lap and say, “It’s Bill Gates’ fault”? No error message, funny inexplicable noises, sudden blank screens or lost files are not too much for Husband to handle. And, the best part is, he doesn’t seem to mind.

To all those older women still looking for Mr. Right, I add one more quality to your list of things to seek – technology know-how. Sure, you can hire someone to do that, but can you just imagine leaning over the couch and saying, “fix it” and it gets handled in 30 seconds flat?

What’s your favorite Husband skill?

 March 30, 2009  Posted by Suzanne on March 30, 2009 8 Responses »

The Name Game or Who Are You?

Mar 292009
 

The most interesting part of getting married at a later age is the name change. I decided to take Husband’s last name and thought it wouldn’t be a big deal. Everyone was just going to have to deal.

Another LBB (late bloomer bride) told me right before I got married, “whatever you do, change your social security number first, then the driver’s license!” (She hadn’t and it apparently was “too difficult to talk about.”)

So, I began The Process. Step one, get a copy of your marriage certificate. With the official seal. Head over to Kinkos and make about 500 copies. You’re gonna need ‘em. I was married three years ago and I still have a file on my desk titled “name change” containing nothing but copies of my marriage certificate. I fax them out like party favors. What? You have me under what name? Well, here. Have a marriage certificate.

Step two of The Process. Make sure your new name is associated with your social security number. You must do this in person. So, one day, now ready to engage The Process, I trudged up to the SSN office. I had everything with me – old SSN card, drivers’ license, officially sealed copy of the marriage certificate. I had even downloaded and completed the forms in advance. With just one other person there, I was able to breeze up to the window and present paperwork. The SSN frau looked at my over her glasses. She slid my sacred offerings closer to her. She signed the form, stamped something, and printed out some new paperwork. You’ll get your new card in the mail within 2 weeks. That was it.

Well, I thought, this is going to be a snap.

So, I headed over to the DMV. The lines were longer. The people were more harassed. But, even getting my new license took all of 20 minutes.

Wow!

Step three in The Process is to change your name at the bank. Now this is where it gets dicey. What no one ever tells you is that once your driver’s license is handled and then the bank, you will now need to alert the 360 other organizations to the grand news in record speed. This includes, in no particular order: retirement funds, credit card companies, phone companies, frequent flyer accounts, clients (very important), gas company, passport, and everyone else in the world. You must do this immediately because nothing else in your life matches your driver’s license or the bank. And, if the new checks don’t arrive quickly, you go to the grocery story with J-labeled checks trying to get by on an H-labeled license. Just try to get the cheerleader behind the checkout counter to understand that the J and H are the same gal. Ain’t gonna happen.

Even the dry cleaners I had been going to for more than 3 years wouldn’t let me write a check while my driver’s license said I was an H . Heaven forbid I walk out with someone else’s super starched shirts.

Going to vote, however, was different. I got in the H line only to be shunted over to the J line, ’cause, yep, that’s where I was listed –  old-maiden-name-J. The very nice elderly pollster called over “Big John” (I am not kidding) to see what to do. Just let her vote, he said. I began waving my license and my marriage certificate, but he just waved them away. Just fill out a name change form on your way out, he said nonchalantly. Ms. Nice Elderly Lady just smiled. I walked to the poll and cast my vote. I filled out the name change form and once again asked if someone, anyone, wanted to see my license or my dog-earned copy of the marriage certificate. Nope. You just signed your name under the statement said, under penalty of the law, you were telling the truth about who you were, said Big John.

Well, someone alert the dry cleaners.

 March 29, 2009  Posted by Suzanne on March 29, 2009 8 Responses »