Control is an illusion – especially around TV

All LBBs should be warned when they first merge with another, that they should negotiate remote control authority in their pre-nup.

You see, Husband and I may have two TVs, but we also have several remote controls. And, two of them work the main TV. This means neither of us really has to give up said control.  

This can be an issue, because occasionally Husband refuses to be sent to his room to watch the “other” TV so I can get my fill of celebrity gossip. Sometimes, we actually get into a duel. That’s right — out and out remote-sword-fighting (sans blades).

I may be in my 40s and he may be in his 50s, but we are not above a little remote control temper tantrum.  Now, lest you get the wrong picture, I never “Ambush Click.” (Husband cannot say this.) I always “Announce Click,” as in, Can we watch something else? CLICK. Husband on the other hand just waves his magic wand in the TV direction and suddenly I’m watching the stock market fall (again).

Sometimes it gets ugly. Like the night Celebrity Apprentice was on. I just happened upon it. I got sucked in by the latest shenanigans of celebrities behaving badly, and the next thing I knew, Husband walks in, picks up his sword remote, and CLICK. We’re on to something else. No announcement. No nothin’.  So, I did what any independent woman would do. I picked up my own remote and CLICK, back to Jessie James announcing to the world that he believes Denis Rodman has a drinking problem. Next thing you know it’s CLICK. CLICK. CLICK-CLICK-CLICK, CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK. I’m surprised the TV survived.

I learned two things that night:

1. A sense of humor really is important in marriage, and

2. My remote is stronger. It can change the channel through a human body – namely Husband’s as he stood in front of the TV. He-he-he.

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