When I first got married, I had a persistent thought, which was this: I have no idea what I am doing. Still do sometimes, though I’ve decided maybe no one else does either. (Confusion loves company.)
But, thankfully, there are thousands of books to help guide the way. Many are ridiculous. Too many are really a long list of bumper stickers between two covers. But, occasionally, a few will really stand out. And, these make up my “life library.”
For instance, two books by Willard F. Harley, Jr. helped me tremendously when it came to understanding men. (The fact I could quote from these books to Husband as I was trying to get a point across was just an added bonus.)
The two books are His Needs, Her Needs and Love Busters.
I first read His Needs, Her Needs a number of years ago. The author basically lists the top 5 things most men need and the top 5 things most women need. (Personally, I find some of the items on the men’s list much more a priority for me than some of the “women’s” things. But, hey, that may just be me.)
Regardless of what makes up your list, the explanation behind Harley’s listed items are quite fascinating. And, for the most part, the list tracks—as in, it tracks with Husband’s needs. (So, I guess this means I’m not getting out of getting up at 7 a.m. on a weekend to go flying cause “recreational companionship” is the second highest “need” of men. Darn. The first listed item makes up for it sometimes, though. And, you’ll just have to read it to see…)
The book, Love Busters , goes into all the little annoying things people do in relationships that drive the other person positively batty. As a favorite quotes reads: It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out, it’s the grain of sand in your shoe (~Anonymous). So, cut it out. (There you go, the Cliff notes.)
Bottom line, I have always believed men really want to be admired and women really want to be cherished and desired. These books underscore those beliefs for me. So, if you’re looking for a little insight into the other half of your marriage, check ‘em out. I highly recommend reading them in bed at night, with Husband next to you. That way you can call things out. A little “selective sharing” never hurt anyone, right?
Both books have helped me to understand a lot of “what happened” and “what went wrong” so I am wiser for my years ahead. Thank you, honey, for encouraging me and so many of your cherished friends to read these two books. They truly do get to the heart of emotional needs, which makes relationships more solid and joyful.
Wonderful! I am so glad you found them helpful. In two words, they rock!