It’s the Movie’s Fault

I have been trying to explain to Husband that I am not crazy. I am not demanding. I am not at all asking for the world.

I just want what I see in the movies.

Is that bad?

Know that LBBs, in particular, are romantics. We wouldn’t have held out for marriage for so long if we weren’t seeking something really special, right? Just one catch, “special“ for us was oftentimes born at the movies (or books or TV, for that matter).

When I was 7, I discovered my first crush. William Shatner as Captain Kirk on Star Trek.  He always got the girl, even if she was an alien. And, he always looked at these women like he wanted to devour them. Albeit he wasn’t very good at sticking around, he was very good at making a female “whatever” feel like the center of the universe for at least one mission.

And, so it began. My long romance with the romance.

Endless Love with Brooke Shields, Love Story with Ryan O’Neal,  The Blue Lagoon again with Brooke Shields (who obviously had it going on), Say Anything with John Cusack, Fatal Attraction (just kidding), Ghost with Patrick Swayze and Demi, The Thomas Crown Affair with Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo.

They all painted a picture of endless sacrifice, unquestioning loyalty, thrill-seeking, heart-thumping, perfect love making, perfume and peonies…Sigh.

For 30 some years I watched movie magic unfold before me like a twisted blueprint of how to approach love and romance. 

Direction number one from the movies – hold out for the “one.”  Romances  alway show you it pays off – big time — to hold out for “the one.” And, “the one” is characterized by always saying the right things, at the right time, in beautiful poetry, flowers and weekend getaways in convertibles to cabins in the woods. Oh, and he looks like George Clooney.

Direction number two – what you do, matters not. If you scream at him, and he really loves you, he’ll chase you through the streets of NYC, throwing his body across cabs and Mercedes with screaming advertising executives, to get to you. He will then apologize.

Direction number three – it doesn’t matter where or how you live, he will find you. So, go ahead and sit under a rock, in a cave, about 6,000 feet under the ocean, somewhere south of Bora Bora, in a ratty old cardigan with your hair pulled back in a scrunchie. He will see beyond all that. And, when he shows up you are free to ask, what took you so long?

Fortunately (or unfortunately), since becoming an LBB and meeting other LBBs, I have discovered I am not alone. (Whew.)  I also have discovered, that men have been given similar misdirection. (For one, they believe one trip to the beauty shop is all it takes to turn into Michelle Pfeiffer. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, and she’ll find everything he does cute.)

So, I do not blame Husband for the confusion. Rather, I blame Ben Affleck in Chasing Amy:       

I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the-the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is-is-is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can’t take this anymore. I can’t stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can’t-I can’t look into your eyes without feeling that-that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can’t talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are…

And, I blame Sean Connery in The Russia House:  

I love you. All my failings were preparations for meeting you. It’s like nothing I have ever known. It’s unselfish love. Grown-up love. It’s mature, absolute, thrilling love. . . I’m with you. I know it now. . . You are my only country now.

And, Tom Cruise in Jerry McGuire:

 I’m not letting you get rid of me. How about that? . . . I love you.  You complete me.

Damn. I wonder what Netflix brought to the house today.