BrideTide recently tweeted: The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it’s already been digested by a bee. Kinda gross, but true.
Besides making me laugh, I instantly through of why marrying a divorced man was probably always in the cards for me. (Yes, I can access my obsession over my relationship in less than a nanosecond. Even on far less.)
A divorced man ensures one thing: been there, done that. And, I don’t have time to train.
Husband was free-wheeling and single (in Europe of all places) for a while, married a long time before me, had two great sons, and then single again for about five years. All of which have brought terrific benefits.
(Husband, on the other hand, did not get so lucky. He’s starting from scratch with a first-time wife. Hopefully he sees it kinda like a diamond in the rough, but I wouldn’t blame him if it felt more like panning for gold 100 years after the gold rush some days.)
Yes, getting married for the first time later in life brings it own set of issues. But, also fantastic reasons exist to wait, especially if you marry someone who has been to the circus already. The benefits, in no particular order and certainly not a complete list, include:
- He’s been to war (read: divorce) and probably decided it wasn’t so much fun. And, — here’s the benefit — dedicated to not goin’ there again.
- The likelihood of him having children already is greater. And, if you aren’t planning on having children (or you are over 40 and the thought of starting that at this age makes you want to take a nap) then, it’s taken care of.
- He knows how to do stuff, which may include laundry and cooking (or otherwise he would have starved in dirty socks). Do make sure it’s the stuff you like or need, however.
- More likely than not, he’s got a job. In fact, had several and is more marketable. You’ll know his ability to attract and handle “funding” pretty quickly. He’s had to pay up.
- He has seen other women who are older than 25, naked. This is crucial.
- He has seen the “before and after” of make-up, too much tequila, and three-day business trips. And, they all ran together. His beloved was just the same person at that point, with or without mascara. And, in fact, he may have begun to prefer the “no make-up look,” which is also crucial for living together in harmony.
I could go on. But above is a starter list for the those who are not “starter wives.”
Naturally, there is the issue of emotional baggage from said visit to said circus. But, then, the trick is to get them after therapy. (Make sure he gets you after it, too.)
