My friend, Paul, sent me this fascinating podcast with biological anthropologist Helen Fisher a while ago. In true late bloomer fashion, I just got around to taking a listen. I was hooked in the first two minutes.
Fisher has studied male and female attraction from a biological (over psychological) standpoint. She likes to explore why we are biologically drawn to some people over others. She has written several books including: Why Him Why Her and Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love.
What interested me most during her interview was that she found that most divorces occur in the fourth year of marriage. (Eek. Husband and I are celebrating our 4th anniversary in September. )
Her theory is that it takes four years for a man and woman to have and raise one child through infancy. And, maybe our genes include something our prehistoric ancestors thought was a pretty good deal – get one kid going, break up, and get the opportunity to plant your seeds elsewhere. This would ensure more genetic variety in their young.
I’m glad Husband has already had his two (now grown) children out of the way. And, I wonder if being a late bloomer bride (most of us either at, or growing toward, our non-childbearing years) throws the curve. Let’s hope so.
In this podcast, she also talks about other, new theories as outlined in her newest book, Why Him Why Her. She identifies four coupling “types:” Builder, Explorer, Director, and Negotiator. She does say that the Builder would be more likely to a longer monogamous relationship, whereas the Explorer is, well, exploratory. She went on to describe the Negotiator and the Director types as well. At this point, I got concerned (because naturally I began to analyze Husband and I.) She is quick to point out that opposites can attract. Whew.
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