Women Earning More than Their Men Folk

I imagine this could easily be a scenario for a late bloomer bride. I mean, we had many years to do, well, whatever. And, that often included a focus on career. Usually without children (though not always). So, this article on women earning more than men, was really interesting to me.

Did you know that one third of women now out-earn their husbands? Given the number of board rooms I have visited in the last 30 days, I believe it. Women – no more the token conference room “art” – were big contributors to the discussion around the many meetings I’ve attended recently.

But rumor has it, when you get home is where the rubber meets the road.  How one deals, domestically, with imbalances in paychecks is a hot topic these days. Of course, if the man makes more, then no one blinks an eyelash. But, if the woman hauls home a larger piece of the bacon, well, all kinds of psychological head-messing starts to emerge.

This article by Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D., thankfully, does not go into much hand-wringing over this issue. But, rather launches right into “what do to about it.” (Because, apparently, there is something to “do about it.”)

My favorite piece of advice included keeping in mind that the work load – not the players — is a common problem. This fits in nicely with my idea that when problems arise, you should view it as “you and me” against the problem to avoid being pitted against one another.  So, if the woman is bringing home a bigger paycheck , the fact is the dishes still need get done. And, who does them shouldn’t have anything to do with salary. Figure out what needs to get done, and work together to see that it gets done.

Another sound piece of advice from this article is you should keep money out of “chore talk.” After all, both people – if they have full-time jobs – are working 40 hours a week at least. So, how much money one makes has less to do with what chores they should take on. Everyone should just pull their own weight. (So, YOU, over on the couch, it’s your turn to take the recycling.)

But, personally, I find the psychological aspects of this more daunting than the “who takes out the trash” part. I can hire someone to clean. (And, yes, of course we do. I’ve got better things to do than wand out the toilet bowl.)

Rather, I wonder about the psychological hit anyone (man or woman) takes when they bring home less money.

In the U.S., too often men are judged by the size of their paycheck. That is a hard burden to lift. And, we women who have married later in life are usually married to men who have lived with this idea for a while. Couple this (no pun intended) with the fact LBBs could easily be high-earners just by the simple fact we flew solo for a while (thereby giving us many opportunities and choices), and the probability of the woman earning more than the man grows exponentially. And, quite frankly, we aren’t about to put our light under a bushel.

(Before you launch into me, know that I think anyone should earn anything they want. I am an American capitalist, after all. I don’t care if you are male or female. Go for it. Just be legal. Oh, and give back.)

But, I would really like to hear what you do – either in practice or psychologically. ‘Cause I know some of you LBBs out there are wrestling with this issue. Do tell… 

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