Of Driving and Divorce Predicators
ByIt is official. I have become a nag.
But, only in one place. The car.
Who knew that marriage could cause such a personality shift?
When I was single, never in a million years would I have dreamed I’d be one of those women. The backseat driver, the cantankerous why-did-you-take-this-route-lady, the hassler. But, there I was, Christmas Eve, headed toward my sister’s place. Husband in the driver seat. Me, in the nag seat. Telling him how to drive. (Actually, more than that.)
It had snowed – heavily – in previous days. The roads were okay that night, but not great. It was misting, making everything mushier and darker than usual. So, when Husband – who is a silent but stealthy driver – was speeding along the major highway like he always does, it made me nervous. (Husband believes every road is a version of the German autobahn.)
Add to the fact he was not paying any attention to what I was saying, and I grew even more anxious. (Actually, naggier.)
This is because somewhere in my subconscious, I must have believed the pestering needed acknowledging. So, the harassment got louder. Because he might not hear me from eight inches away. So, it grew. (Actually, exploded.)
Husband, slow down!
Why are you going this way? We’ll be late.
Watch that guy!
Stop speeding up to every light and then braking (which is kind of a stupid thing to say, given if you are speeding, you want them to eventually brake)
Careful, Husband. That’s a patch of ice.
What? Are? You? Doing?
You’re going to give me a heart attack!
Sort of like that. (Actually, louder.)
Do you ever have one of those out-of-body experiences where you know your behavior just isn’t right, and you’re looking down on yourself from the ceiling, debating inside why you are continuing with said behavior? Well, it was one of those nights.
I recently came across an article on the best divorce predictors. The number one reason why people split up? Conflict avoidance. I guess we should not be worried. Husband eventually told me to cut it out. (Actually, less subtly.)
6 Comments
December 28th, 2009 at 10:11 am
I’m glad you found the article helpful. I can relate to having our worst moments in the car. Most of our car conflict related to directions, so a GPS has helped us immensely. But at least you aren’t “stuffing” your feelings.
Happy Holidays.
Lori
December 28th, 2009 at 10:18 am
Who knows, it really might be a miracle that we who are married to Late Bloomer Brides ever survived long enough to marry them, using our own wits alone. How did we ever muddle through before our beloved wives were here to tell us how to do things “the right way” (read that, the way THEY think it should be done)?
It must have been in the very fine print of the marriage contract that “all of the groom’s previous experience and expertise becomes null and void upon declaration of “I do”, and, once he becomes a husband, he will not assume that he is capable of doing anything without specific instruction, other than those things the corresponding LBB chooses not to do for herself or in which she has absolutely no interest.”
It’s just part of the charm…..
December 28th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Oh, but aren’t you glad you got married?
December 28th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Thanks, Lori! yes, I have to be extra careful when entering the car. I turn into a Viking (or something)…Thanks for your article. Happiest of Holidays!
March 30th, 2010 at 1:53 pm
It took me almost 20 years to figure out that certain times of the month influence my car “nervousness.” We went on a long car trip and the whole way there I was a nervous wreck while hubby drove…worried we were near disaster at every turn. On the trip home, I rested peacefully while hubby drove. It was then that I put together the hormonal influence. I have tested my theory several times since then. Just so you know.
March 30th, 2010 at 2:08 pm
Oh, yes, the dreaded hormones. Such a nuisance. Thanks for the tip!