I will never catch up to Husband. His television watching, that is. I am so hopelessly behind now, I don’t know even where to begin.

We have two DVRs and two TVs. One “set” resides in the living room and the other in the bedroom. This means nothing need ever be missed.

However, having equipment does not guarantee the user plays by all the rules.

And, just because you can record, does it mean you should? If you do record, are you obligated to then view?

How about synching your TV watching moods with your spouse, now that you have a library from which to choose?

And, is he allowed to hit “play” on a recorded show without you? Or should Husband and I reconcile our TV watching schedules, which is ironic since the whole reason we got the DVR(s) in the first place was so we wouldn’t be a servant to a schedule?

While we have been liberated from being a slave to TV time schedules, we have now been introduced to a new kind of dilemma. And, it all comes down to the fact I dare to go to bed before Husband.

You see, in addition to the shows we record because we’re just not home, we record anything on after 9 p.m. I need my beauty sleep, and would rather read before bed anyway. I figure I can watch later. Husband – still alive and kicking until at least 11 p.m. – refuses to wait if something good is on. I mean, why should he, really?

But, then, the next night (or so) I want to watch what I missed. Husband laments he’s already seen it. And, of course, now there is something else good to watch – it being a new night, and all.

So, now, the shows pile up on our DVRs, waiting for a Saturday when I get plow through four to five shows at once.

(You’ve got to love the ability to forward right through all those commercials. It’s interesting that a 30 minute show is really just 22 minutes long. And, I can get through an hour show in about 45 minutes. Makes you believe all that stuff about TV watching really sucking time from your life. I mean if you watch three shows in one night, that’s at least 45 minutes of commercials you’re wasting your time on. But, I digress…)

Also, when this far behind, you also have to deal with the existential dilemma of trying to figure out what to catch up on, first.

Do, I catch up on Heroes? (Because Husband will not wait for me on that show. No way. No, sir.) Or, do I turn to Fringe or Leverage, first? Then, there is Dr. Oz and Oprah (dozens of those). Oh, and let us not forget all those cool Discovery, PBS and History channel shows about what would happen if humans suddenly disappeared from the earth and how Vikings have really gotten a bad rap all these years.

Makes me wonder if we could add to the marriage contract, Thou shall not sally forth with TV watching without spouse. Or, maybe I’ll just go read a book.