Comments on: Talking Trash. Just Don’t. http://latebloomerbride.com/2010/03/talking-trash-just-don%e2%80%99t/ Getting married later in life. Sun, 13 May 2012 21:09:29 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Suzanne http://latebloomerbride.com/2010/03/talking-trash-just-don%e2%80%99t/comment-page-1/#comment-3475 Suzanne Sun, 21 Mar 2010 15:59:12 +0000 http://latebloomerbride.com/?p=1867#comment-3475 That's a good point about kids, too! That’s a good point about kids, too!

]]> By: One of The Guys http://latebloomerbride.com/2010/03/talking-trash-just-don%e2%80%99t/comment-page-1/#comment-3474 One of The Guys Sun, 21 Mar 2010 09:16:28 +0000 http://latebloomerbride.com/?p=1867#comment-3474 Came over from Luvem and Leavem. Came over from Luvem and Leavem.

]]> By: One of The Guys http://latebloomerbride.com/2010/03/talking-trash-just-don%e2%80%99t/comment-page-1/#comment-3473 One of The Guys Sun, 21 Mar 2010 09:16:08 +0000 http://latebloomerbride.com/?p=1867#comment-3473 When I read people venting about their relationship on their Blogs, I often think their spouse or partner must have no idea this person blogs. Otherwise, this relationship would be over. I agree with you. Respect is a huge piece of a relationship, and that includes being respectful of the relationship. It's a lot of pressure to be out in the world representing not only yourself but your spouse, and in my case my three kids. Before if someone pissed me off, I'd let them know. Now.....well many parents of my kid's classmates have pissed me off, but I rarely say anything for fear that it could negatively impact my kids. And I guess that's the bottom line, we have to be aware of how our comments, rants, vents impact the people close to us, as well as the actual relationship. Deterioration of a relationship is a slow process, fueled by many "indiscretions." When I read people venting about their relationship on their Blogs, I often think their spouse or partner must have no idea this person blogs. Otherwise, this relationship would be over.
I agree with you. Respect is a huge piece of a relationship, and that includes being respectful of the relationship.
It’s a lot of pressure to be out in the world representing not only yourself but your spouse, and in my case my three kids.
Before if someone pissed me off, I’d let them know. Now…..well many parents of my kid’s classmates have pissed me off, but I rarely say anything for fear that it could negatively impact my kids.
And I guess that’s the bottom line, we have to be aware of how our comments, rants, vents impact the people close to us, as well as the actual relationship. Deterioration of a relationship is a slow process, fueled by many “indiscretions.”

]]> By: Suzanne http://latebloomerbride.com/2010/03/talking-trash-just-don%e2%80%99t/comment-page-1/#comment-3376 Suzanne Wed, 17 Mar 2010 17:28:34 +0000 http://latebloomerbride.com/?p=1867#comment-3376 Good comments, Tina and Tracey! Good comments, Tina and Tracey!

]]> By: Tracey http://latebloomerbride.com/2010/03/talking-trash-just-don%e2%80%99t/comment-page-1/#comment-3375 Tracey Wed, 17 Mar 2010 17:26:48 +0000 http://latebloomerbride.com/?p=1867#comment-3375 When I hear someone casually take swipes at their loved one, my ears ring, my hair stands up on end, and I wince. You see, I have been guilty of doing this myself. Granted, it felt like a way of fighting back, but in reality, it is never fair. I'm divorced now. Go figure. Partners need to provide cover for each other, and never, ever take swipes at them in public, even when done humorously. Doing so is passive aggressive. For me, I was fighting fire with fire: You don't honor me; I won't honor you. The truth is this: We are charged with covering our partner and protecting them in all ways, including emotionally. Seemingly harmless “swipes” (even when done through humor on random FB posts) chink away at a person's armor until he/she feels they are exposed and withdraws or fights back. Over time, when someone is “allowed” to make these types of comments unchecked, it becomes natural to the aggressor. Sadly, they don’t even realize how hurtful what they are doing is to their relationship. When their partner finally slips away from them (or blows a gasket), they wonder why! When I hear someone casually take swipes at their loved one, my ears ring, my hair stands up on end, and I wince. You see, I have been guilty of doing this myself. Granted, it felt like a way of fighting back, but in reality, it is never fair. I’m divorced now. Go figure.

Partners need to provide cover for each other, and never, ever take swipes at them in public, even when done humorously. Doing so is passive aggressive. For me, I was fighting fire with fire: You don’t honor me; I won’t honor you. The truth is this: We are charged with covering our partner and protecting them in all ways, including emotionally. Seemingly harmless “swipes” (even when done through humor on random FB posts) chink away at a person’s armor until he/she feels they are exposed and withdraws or fights back. Over time, when someone is “allowed” to make these types of comments unchecked, it becomes natural to the aggressor. Sadly, they don’t even realize how hurtful what they are doing is to their relationship. When their partner finally slips away from them (or blows a gasket), they wonder why!

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