There is much great advice around having a healthy relationship. But, sometimes I come across an idea so dazzling I am a little jealous I didn’t come up with it myself.

A few years ago, my friend Susan felt it was time to check in with her husband on a few things, and perhaps recalibrate their joint vision, mission and goals. Plus, they were planning on building their own house. A few things needed to be decided.

So, she took a survey. Of her husband’s ideas, thoughts and feelings, that is. And, then she called a Marriage Summit.

How brilliant is this?

I immediately stole the idea. Everyone in any kind of relationship should.

Husband’s response to said idea was first to raise his cute little eyebrows. Why? Finally came out of his mouth.

Well, we have stuff to talk about.

Like what? We talk all the time, was his answer.

I really, really wanted to say (but didn’t) yeah, but I don’t always like the answers.

He then added, you just don’t like my answers.

Caught.

Maybe is one of Husband’s favorite words. He doesn’t like to be locked in. But, I’m a Taurus. And, an LBB. And, a business woman. Maybe, in my book, isn’t an answer.

Husband, being the accommodating guy he can be, finally agreed to the summit idea (though not the survey). Only he doesn’t want to call it a Marriage Summit.  Rather we’re calling it a Family Business Meeting. (Why this is better, I don’t know. But, I don’t care. Call it a visit to the zoo. As long as we are there. Talking.)

Here is a framework we’ve adopted:

1. Organize the topics. Ours included – taxes, house, health, retirement, Operation Townhouse Transformation, and vacations.
2. Prioritize them. What needs to be discussed first? You get one topic per summit, er, FBM.
3. Schedule the gathering. I sent him a meeting request via Outlook. (One of the greatest things about Outlook is that it will put a meeting notice on anyone’s calendar just by sending the request. Partial buy-in!)
4. Attach an agenda to the meeting request, including what each of you needs to bring. After all, you can’t talk about choosing a beach house unless you put all the options on the table. Bring your back-up. In my case, it was pictures of actual beach houses for rent.
5. You meet. Hell nor high water gets in the way.

Our FBM this week was about taxes. As in doing them. Oh, joy. But, I had a small thrill of accomplishment when it was over. And, the dreaded sense of mystery about when they would get done was gone.

Next week’s FBM is going to be about our living situation – including Operation Townhouse Transformation and our soon-to-be-built house. Because, the greenery on our land really needs some company.

(See next week’s blog entry for how our meeting goes. Was it bad that I hired a professional organizer before talking to Husband? I think it’s time to let him know…)