Shooting Lessons for a Late Bloomer

I am a serious late bloomer. I am reminded of this time and again. This week’s reminder came in the form of a firearm. On Saturday, I touched a gun for the first time in my life.

I was raised to believe that if you have guns in your life, the universe will provide a reason to use them. So, don’t have them around.

But, then I got invited to a female-only soiree of gun safety and shooting and I figured at this point in my life I should know how to handle universal intervention if it arises.

In preparation for said class, I thought maybe I should let my mother know what I was about to do. After all, she was the one who drilled into me the universal law part. And, a picture of me holding a .38 would likely end up on Facebook anyway. So I decided to be brave – in advance.

Over Himilayan buffet lunch the day before, I brought it up. (‘Tis always good to have food around during such moments.) Her response? Oh, I know how to shoot a gun. I’m a pretty good shot. Can get that can off the fence every time. At which point I choked on my Mikasa chicken.

Turns out she learned to handle a gun loooong ago. My stepfather, once he moved us to his horse farm, decided if there were going to be guns around, she was going to learn to handle them. (Which proves a point I learned long ago. You are never too old to learn new things about your parents.)

So, mother-daughter connection intact, I go to the NRA-sanctioned gun safety class on a Saturday afternoon. We spend about three hours listening to all the ways to avoid shooting yourself and others, how the gun is built, how to load, unload and store it. Oh, and a few stories about the stupid things people have done with guns in the past. Basically, it gave me a very healthy respect for what a gun can do. This was important because all my previous knowledge had been gleaned from the movies.

Then, we go out to the shooting range, and instructor by our side, we shoot at a paper target. I won’t be hitting any bulls’ eyes anytime soon, but, for the record, I hit the paper every time.

What I learned from shooting:

1. The movies lie. It’s loud.
2. The movies lie. It takes some arm and hand strength, using both hands, to ensure the gun doesn’t fly from your hand.
3. The movies lie. It takes some serious practice to hit anything. (Hence, what my friend Ed said about the news reports you hear all the time about “police fired 25 shots, hitting the suspect 3 times.”)
4. The movies lie. If someone gets hit by a bullet, they are not going to get up and run a mile to save the girl. They are down.

But, I can see the addiction. It’s a serious energy release.

It was after I fired the semi-automatic gun, that I realized this was an remarkable (and for me, probably once-in-a-lifetime) experience. And, how I wished Husband was there with me.

This is the thing about being married later in life. Sometimes these moments just are not obvious in foresight.

As a late bloomer bride, you got quite used to learning all kinds of news things, experiencing new places and people, and basically going through life by yourself. So, when opportunities arise – like learning to touch a gun for the first time – it’s not so obvious that it should be experienced any differently than when you were unattached.

The truth is, there are things you want to do with your spouse. And, there are things you want to do with your girlfriends. Discover those early.

At first I just wanted to do this with my gals. I knew they wouldn’t laugh at me and, also would let the instructor be the director not interjecting “helpful” advice every two seconds. But, then I fired. And, then I wanted to be there with both my girlfriends and Husband.

Next time, I’m going to act like a married person. Only took four years and a gun. Who knew?

Postscript: Telling people about my experience also was a lesson in just how diverse we are as a culture on the issue of guns. When I shared my experience, live, with people – some friends, some colleagues, some acquaintances — I was met with pride, disdain, fear and loathing, and downright admiration in equal measure. I see why gun control issues are such hot buttons.