Part One: Finances and the Late Bloomer Marriage

If you get married for the first time later in life, a little issue will arise sooner than later. Money.

While all couples are advised to handle this issue tout de suite (and before the wedding), the late bloomer bride has a few complications thrown in that our younger counterparts probably do not have to deal with right away. Just by the nature of being older means a number of things:

• You probably have money of your own
• You hopefully have some retirement funds set aside
• You might have children to consider
• You really should be thinking about health issues and how they already or may impact your future financial status
• You most certainly already have ideas about money
• You most definitely have thoughts about the level of comfort, joy, dream-fulfillment and other goodies

Recently, several late bloomers have asked me for direction in finding good advice on how to deal with money when coupling for the first time.

First, see our article section on finances.

Next, I thought I’d go ahead and give a peek under our kimono so you could see how Husband and I handle our finances.

(Minor digression: It’s hard to imagine now that just a few decades ago we would not be having this conversation. Not too long ago, the men brought home the pig and the women “oohed” and “ahhed” over his hunting skills while making brisket, sloppy joes and all other manners of good eats from said pig. But, today? Well, Women influence 85% of all consumer purchases in the U.S. and wield over $5 trillion in purchasing power. And, if you are over 40 and contemplating marriage, the last thing you want is someone (man or woman) telling you what to do with your dough. But, yes, LBBs, there are strategies available to you.)

For five years Husband’s and my system has worked beautifully. It goes like this. We have several, separate financial “buckets,” including

• Our joint checking account
• His personal accounts
• My personal accounts
• His retirement accounts
• My retirement account

Husband and I have an arrangement where we split all joint expenses 50-50. The joint checking account is used for mortgages, groceries, dining out together, the utilities, vacations, etc. We have a semi-budget and put that much in each month.

(We do not get crazy around the grocery bill, either. Husband eats his weight in cereal and milk while he cannot keep up with my wine consumption. I figure it works out, financially, in the end. I never understood those couples who have a list on the refrigerator around who eats what and who pays for what gets eaten (or drunk). But, to each his own.)

For the joint account, I had suggested a percentage based on our incomes. That way if one of us made more money, then the other would pony up more. Then, in the end, we would both be giving equally based on what we had. No, he wanted an equal split. Okay, then.

We also have our own accounts. Husband doesn’t know what I do with it (or just how many online sites have “stored” my credit card for easy one-click shopping). He doesn’t care. Well, he probably cares. But, he figures it’s my business. As for him, most of the time I don’t know how much money is exchanged to get those boxes the UPS man delivers that are marked “airplane parts.” It doesn’t matter so long as the bills get paid and the retirement accounts stay robust.

Where it can get really sticky is around retirement, healthcare and insurance planning, nest eggs, children’s college education funds and other large investment-oriented decisions. This is where sitting down, talking and planning becomes imperative. My advice? Check out Monday’s post, where I’ll try to provide some direction.

Disclaimer:  I am not formally providing financial (or health) advice. This is just me telling you about my experiences and what has worked for us. Please speak with your accountant, attorney, tax guy or whoever you go to for sage advice around finances. After all, you don’t want someone who paid $200 for a hair-dryer the only one giving you advice now, do you?