Last Thursday, I wrote about how Husband and I manage our finances (mostly from a day-to-day standpoint). Today, below are some questions for you to answer that may provide direction around the larger issues, such as retirement, healthcare and insurance planning, nest eggs, children’s college education funds and other large investment-oriented decisions.

First, you are going to have to talk to each other about it. I know this seems obvious, but I cannot believe how many women don’t want to broach this subject with their “intendeds” or new husbands. The intimidation factor seems alive and well. I get the sense that many of these LBBs just don’t want to rock the boat now that they’ve found “the one.”

Well, start rocking.

I’ve learned that asking questions is a good place to start. It’s less confronting somehow. Below are some things to consider and questions to ask your partner that will help get your set up for decision-making:

1. Know who you are marrying (or married to). Ask yourself what you’ve witnessed to date. Is he/she a saver? A spender? A planner? Now ask him or her who they think they are. Do they match?
2. Determine your values, long-term goals, and dreams for the future. Now ask him or her what their ideas are. Do they match? If not, can that be resolved? If not, are you prepared to financially support your ideas without him or her? Are you able to watch him fund something you wouldn’t spend a nickel on? (Trust me, he or she probably thinks the same about one of your hobbies, too.)
3. If children are involved (either planned for or currently around), make those financial decisions early. How do you both feel about paying for their first car? Their college? Their jail bailout? (On that last one, seriously know the answer. Life is known to throw you curve balls at the most inopportune time.)
4. Know when and how you want to retire or make a career shift. At what age, ideally, do you want to stop working? Do you want to stop working altogether or morph it into something more meaningful where money is no longer the goal? By when? How much money will you need? And, are you committed to putting away enough?
5. Where do you want to retire? Husband actually mentioned leaving the U.S. once to me, which begged the question – Mexican village or Swiss chalet? It makes a difference.
6. Understand how you’ll deal with the larger health issues, especially the unpredictable ones. They are usually expensive no matter what way you cut it. How is your health? Do you both take care of yourselves? Could you do this better? How can you support one another here? How much insurance (health insurance, long-term care, etc.) do you need? What are your assets if you need to liquidate some to handle health issues? And, are you prepared to do that for each other?

Some of these questions may beg the obvious answer, as in well, of course I’d sell my antique baseball card collection to take care of her hospital bills.

But, not so fast. Remember, you found each other later in life. There are fully-formed ideas swimming in your partner’s brain that you may not be aware of.

What if he believes selling the house and moving to a smaller condo is the answer? And, your dream was to die in that wonderful house? You could give a flip about the baseball cards.

And, then there are the “others.” There are other people in their lives, from children to friends, some of whom may have been around longer than you. They may have opinions, carry much weight with your partner and can sway (snap) decision-making. So, if you and your partner have determined these things early (and have things in writing early), it will make those unexpected life changes easier to deal with.

Any more questions you believe are imperative to ask?

Disclaimer: Again, I am not formally providing financial (or health) advice. This is just me telling you about my experiences and what has worked for us. Please speak with your accountant, attorney, tax guy or whoever you go to for real advice around finances.