Romance and the Movies. Not Such a Good Deal?

Repeat after me: The movies are a terrible place to gain insight around relationships.

Over the weekend, Husband and I saw the movie, Sex and the City 2 (SaTC). I wanted to see it mainly for the fashion and a dose of glamour. Husband went because I wanted to go. Neither of us were quite expecting what we got.

I tried hard to love this movie, because I loved the last SaTC movie and the previous TV show. But, this one? Well. Can you spell f-a-n-t-a-s-y? It was a bit over the top even for me. And, that’s sayin’ something.

The main character, Carrie Bradshaw, was finally settled into married life with her infamous Mr. Big (John Preston). And, she was an LBB (having married for the first time over age 40).

*** Spoiler alerts ***

The movie picks up two years into their marriage, over which time she wrote a book about being married called “I Do. I Do?” Cute title. I got it immediately.

Throughout the movie, the four main characters – Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda –go through the usual angst of “what does it all mean?” and “how do we keep the twinkle in our lives?” and “how do I balance my relationship with my savvy, wonderful self-ness?” You know. All the usual LBB fodder.

Then, it struck me about half way through this movie.

• LBBs, the world over, are the same.
• LBBs don’t like to “settle.”
• LBBs kinda want it all.

But, in truth, it’s hard to feel sorry for the SaTC women.

In Sex and the City land, the characters all got what they wanted. They have men adoring them (and I mean over. the. top. adoration), have a wardrobe and shoe collection that rivals a sheik’s wife, robust careers of their choice, and live in very large, gorgeous NYC apartments (really stretching the truth there). Yet they still aren’t completely satisfied and happy.

Carrie’s angst in this particular movie is around how to keep the “sparkle” alive after marriage. Early in the movie she complains of takeout food and Husband sitting on their to-die-for couch with the TV on, and instead pining for invitations to movie premieres and a different restaurant every night.

(This made Husband and I laugh because we have regular arguing rounds over 1) our TV being on too much, and 2) not having a comfortable couch. At least Carrie and Big had one out of two.)

So, what do the SaTC ladies do? Why, go for an all-expense PR trip to Abu Dhabi because PR diva Samantha met some rich Arabian hotelier in a bar during which he suddenly had to have her – working for him, that is.

(They nearly lost me at this point in the movie. I am a public relations consultant myself and have never been flown via first class to the jewel of the Middle East to stay in a $22,000 night suite to have one meeting to see if I could work some PR magic for their hotel.)

But, I did empathize with the overall “internal questioning” these women were going through. I just do it in the hellish townhouse comfort of my own home in sweatpants versus their Middle Eastern backdrop of a billowing tent overlooking a six acre pool with a cosmo in one hand.

The big question seemed to be – is this it? How do we have a satisfying home life AND not give up the things we love? Like getting together with girlfriends. Having a major shoe collection. Having a career that gives us purpose. How do we keep the love alive between spouses (and children)? Am I losing myself? Really, is this it?

All of my married friends keep telling me, well, yes, it is. And, you don’t get to do it all.

And, this is where the LBB’s brain starts to combust. Really? We can’t have it all?

Of course, in the end of the SaTC movie, Carrie – the most angst-ridden of them all — “sees the light.” It helped that, when she returned home from her tripping through the Middle East, that her Husband said all the perfect things and gave her the perfect (3 carat) black diamond to seal the deal. Just because she’s special.

I would have settled for their comfortable couch.