1. It’s about time. (Just thought I’d get that one out of the way, right away.)
2. Well, we never thought you’d take the plunge.
3. He must be some special perfect man (read: to put up with your stubborn self) to have won you (read: because you’re so picky).
4. What changed your mind about marriage? (Note to everyone everywhere: it’s not that we didn’t WANT marriage, it’s that we waited for the RIGHT person.)
5. We were wondering if you liked men.
6. I guess we can’t call you spinster anymore. Yuk-yuk.
7. We have to meet this guy!
8. So, I guess he doesn’t want children, huh? (Thanks for pointing out that I’m shrivelling up before your very eyes.)
9. Thank goodness he has already (or insert: does not want) children. What would you have done? (Is my crone-hood that obvious?)
10. Why bother now? (Because, really, if we aren’t going to breed, what’s the point, right?)
11. Oh, your wedding is on Labor Day Weekend? Sorry, we already have plans (a year from now). But, it won’t be that big of a wedding anyway, right?
12. No, I’m not wearing that color in your wedding. (Okay, you can wear the dress you made me wear in your wedding.)
13. White, huh?
Well put! As someone who is approaching 40 and has never been married, I really appreciate your comments. Also, thanks for your comments at BlogHer in the small blog sections.
Thank you! The small blog session was one of my faves — lots of good advice there. Now if only BlogHer would last another 2 days…
Don’t you love that? Who the heck do they think has been paying my mortgage all these years? The mortgage fairy? Never mind that I probably make more than some of their husbands do….
I heard a number of variations of “whew! What a relief. We were so worried you wouldn’t have someone to ‘take care of’ you.” After I’d been doing just fine supporting myself for the past 25 years!
I am saving this. Not engaged “officially” yet, but it is coming. I get #5 a lot! I love #12 too. This whole list is a hoot!
So glad you found it useful. Best wishes on your upcoming nuptials. Yeah, number 5. Couldn’t believe my own ears.
I am optimistic for you!
Hahaha love 5 and 13 – I wrote one of these lists with all the comebacks I had for people when they found out I was a young (quite young) mom and it was so liberating. Yep, I bet you’ve had to endure every one of these stupid comments. At least you know you’ll never do it to someone else!