Comments on: Four Ways LBBs are Different From Young Marrieds. Truly.

By: Christine Hohlbaum

Christine Hohlbaum — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 20:33:58 +0000

It becomes increasingly difficult to consider childbearing after a certain age, for certain. I try to think what my life would look like if I were chasing toddlers at my age (41). I’m glad I had my kids when I did because as you rightly point out, Suzanne, we only now begin to realize at age 40 who we truly are. At least I think we are less fearful to actually look inside to see the truth. It’s an ongoing process of self-discovery, which is enriched through the wisdom of the years. Not everyone may be able to relate to the differences you point out, but your underlying point is life consists of stages. As my 11 year-old daughter recently said to me, “Mom, I’m going through a phase. This too shall pass.” Out of the mouth of babes!

By: Suzanne

Suzanne — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 14:06:24 +0000

I can see that. But, perhaps LBBs are skewed in that “we’re not giving up anything” and YMW’s perception is that have to give up too much. I’s a fine line between contributing to the marital union and contributing to oneself. I submit that we both struggle with that issue, just in different ways. Keep those comments coming! It is fascinating to hear other women’s stories around how they deal (or have dealt) with these issues.

By: JeAnne

JeAnne — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 03:50:20 +0000

4a: YMW’s sense of compromise may be skewed. In both of my (initiated before age 30) failed marriages, I was all too willing to give up what was important to me in the name of “compromise.” The betrayal of lost Saturdays can pile up and become an issue later, especially if a woman hasn’t yet discovered what is important to her other than her partner’s wishes. I get more respect now from men in idle flirtation than I did from the ex I gave up friendships for when we were married.

By: Suzanne

Suzanne — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 02:29:35 +0000

Why thank you! It’s so nice to hear you are finding it useful. It’s been an interesting journey, over here. (Thank goodness I have a patient Husband.) Best wishes on your path, too. I will try not to disappoint in future posts.

By: Teacher214

Teacher214 — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 02:25:53 +0000

I love this site. I have found myself referring to it to my boyfriend AND my therapist who actually wrote down the name when I mentioned it. Thank you for this. It makes me laugh and get a glimpse of what is ahead. (I think)