Anyone who says online dating is for the birds, should really rethink that stance. I know several people who have found their mates online. And, Laurie is one of them. In fact, she’ll tell you that just in her book club alone, she is the fourth person to meet her husband on Match.com.

     Laurie got married for the first time this spring after meeting her guy online two years ago. A widower — with two teenage girls to raise — didn’t stop him from acting on a good thing when he clicked on her profile. Laurie said they “met” near Thanksgiving just under two years ago, got engaged within eight months, and married this past April.

     “From our first interaction it just felt different. I dated for decades. I was always dating with that glimmer of hope that something would be different and would click,” she said. “But, it just didn’t until I met my husband.”

   But, she also is quick to point out that she did a lot of internal personal work in the previous few years. “I have to say I connected more with my higher power.” Laurie also states that she did not work on herself for the end goal of meeting someone, “but rather just for me,” she said. But, that was how she was now able to be in a healthy relationship. 

     “Prior to that it was just one unhealthy relationship after another. I felt I had little confidence in myself. And, I attracted what I felt,” she said.

      Laurie said that ten years ago she wouldn’t have looked at him twice. He is from Midwest, an eagle scout, a nice normal guy, she says. “He wouldn’t have been appealing to me.” Surprise!

      Read on to hear more about Laurie’s story.

The LBB: Laurie, communications professional, age 47, married for the first time this past spring

LBB: So, what ultimately attracted you?

Laurie: Before we physically met, I could tell from his first e-mail that he was different. His grammar was correct. He had a good command of the English language. When we started talking, at that time, it was just before Thanksgiving. My uncle in North Caroline had a stroke. So my father and I had gone down to see him. I remember talking to my-now-husband [[name removed to protect the Internet shy]] before we left. When I got back to my hotel room that first day, he had sent me a message, saying in case I wanted to talk I should call him (even late at night). This man is not a night owl, either. So, I knew this was different.

LBB: What do you find the most surprising about marriage?

Laurie: The comfort from knowing that person is there for me, no matter what. We can have a day where we are both highly annoyed, but he comes back to me regardless. You know that fear when you are dating that you can’t be completely yourself because you’ll turn the other person off? Well, being married, it’s part of the package and it balances out. He says all the time, I’m here for you, no matter what. I don’t have to be completely self sufficient every moment of every day. I can let go and share my vulnerabilities and he’s got my back.

Also, she added she was worried about melding her life after being on my own for so long.

“Physically being in the house with other people is hard. He has two teenage girls, and I found myself suddenly part of a family. But I thought I would be set in my ways. I think now that I’m older, I’m much more willing to let things go, which before would have been irritating to me.

LBB: What do you miss the most about single life?

Laurie: Coming into my house and being able to decompress without anyone there to engage with.

LBB: Do you have any advice for the over 40 woman seeking love and marriage?

Laurie: Put yourself out there, but have no expectations. Let things happen. Don’t force it. And, work on yourself, work on yourself, work on yourself. And, don’t just let it be about doing things in order to meet someone. If you are desperate and you just want to be with someone, you won’t get the long-lasting, soul-comforting type of relationship.

LBB: What did your family say when you got married older?

Laurie: They were over-the-moon happy. My husband is such a wonderful man. They were worried I might screw it up! They love him.  And, because he was happily married for more than 22 years, he can guide me in a fulfilling marriage. It’s different to be in a relationship with someone who already was in a happy, long-lasting relationship.

LBB: One word you would use to describe marriage?

Laurie: Comforting.