In case you haven’t been one of the millions of women who have read it, just know that you’re going to need to “let go” about the writing. Those of you have read it know of what I write. I almost didn’t make it past chapter three. But, let yourself take a ride on the decadent wave. You just may find yourself like me: Unable to put it down (after chapter 3). At one point, I kept looking down at the page count to see how many pages were left and was so relieved that I had at least 500 pages to go. I now fret about there probably will be no more Christian Grey naughtiness. Life is cruel.

There is a reason why even Dr. Oz says this series could be good for marriages. Husband has never gotten so lucky. That is, until I had to leave for San Diego.

Warning! Reading these books on business trips can be dangerous. I should know, given I read books two and three on my trip to the left coast last week.

First there was the guy sitting next to me on my flight to California, who I swear was more interested in my iPad than his. But, that’s not the worst. Oh, noooo. The worst part is when you go to sit at your connecting flight gate at O’Hare to spot an incredibly young, hot, built, blonde God who sits down across from you. You swear he could be a good Christian Grey. But, then his wife shows up shattering all my day dreams.

But, wait, there’s more. Oh, how the universe likes to toy with me. He ends up sitting next to me on the plane. Well, across the aisle anyway. I tried not to stare. Then a very angry old guy announced I am actually sitting in his seat. After he makes quite a scene, yelling at both me and the poor flight attendant trying to help, I realize I mixed up my seat assignment with the gate number. Oops. I blame it on my Wishful Thinking. So I had to schlep back up to seat 8C, in front of the wannabe Christian Grey, annoying the dozens of passengers attempting to head to the back of the plane.

It was then I decided I needed to step away from my iPad for a while. Rather, I brought up iTunes. I had already downloaded Spem in Alium. It kept me going for the rest of the flight.

Now the speculation of who will play Christian in the 50 Shades of Grey movie is occupying me. I say Alexander Skarsgard. I also wonder how in-the-name-of-all-that-is-holy they are going to make a mainstream movie from this triology. There is no way they can make this NC-17. Try triple X. But, then again, that’s probably half the fun. Let the games begin.

(Photo taken from my front porch two weeks ago.)

The InStyle magazine that went into the tub with it also cannot be resurrected by hanging it over a chair on the porch. The pages are permanently stuck together ensuring you will never, ever know what cover girl Charlize Theron drinks to look that way after age 35.

It matters not how many times a Westie throws up the mulch he ate earlier that day. He will continue to chow down on said mulch.

Only when I am starting to feel like I’m coming down with strep throat and could really, really use 8 hours of sleep does Husband choose to spend the night snoring. All night.

It also is only when these 8 hours are necessary that said Westie throws up mulch in his crate at 3 a.m. making his mommy believe he is choking to death and she will need to deliver the heimlich maneuver holding a flashlight so not to awake (for the 100th time) snoring Husband.

Begging does nothing to make Husband roll over to stop snoring.

People at work do not care how much sleep you get. They still want their press release, white paper, case study, report, brow soothing, blog posts, and whatevahs.

You really can spend more money in 7 months with a puppy than you ever did on your first car.

The weekend does always finally come around. If you can just be patient. Just be sure you have some back up reading.