Archive for Interviews with the Brides
LBB Interview: Work on Self First
Posted by: | CommentsAnyone who says online dating is for the birds, should really rethink that stance. I know several people who have found their mates online. And, Laurie is one of them. In fact, she’ll tell you that just in her book club alone, she is the fourth person to meet her husband on Match.com.
Laurie got married for the first time this spring after meeting her guy online two years ago. A widower — with two teenage girls to raise — didn’t stop him from acting on a good thing when he clicked on her profile. Laurie said they “met” near Thanksgiving just under two years ago, got engaged within eight months, and married this past April.
“From our first interaction it just felt different. I dated for decades. I was always dating with that glimmer of hope that something would be different and would click,” she said. “But, it just didn’t until I met my husband.”
But, she also is quick to point out that she did a lot of internal personal work in the previous few years. “I have to say I connected more with my higher power.” Laurie also states that she did not work on herself for the end goal of meeting someone, “but rather just for me,” she said. But, that was how she was now able to be in a healthy relationship.
“Prior to that it was just one unhealthy relationship after another. I felt I had little confidence in myself. And, I attracted what I felt,” she said.
Laurie said that ten years ago she wouldn’t have looked at him twice. He is from Midwest, an eagle scout, a nice normal guy, she says. “He wouldn’t have been appealing to me.” Surprise!
Read on to hear more about Laurie’s story.
The LBB: Laurie, communications professional, age 47, married for the first time this past spring
LBB: So, what ultimately attracted you?
Laurie: Before we physically met, I could tell from his first e-mail that he was different. His grammar was correct. He had a good command of the English language. When we started talking, at that time, it was just before Thanksgiving. My uncle in North Caroline had a stroke. So my father and I had gone down to see him. I remember talking to my-now-husband [[name removed to protect the Internet shy]] before we left. When I got back to my hotel room that first day, he had sent me a message, saying in case I wanted to talk I should call him (even late at night). This man is not a night owl, either. So, I knew this was different.
LBB: What do you find the most surprising about marriage?
Laurie: The comfort from knowing that person is there for me, no matter what. We can have a day where we are both highly annoyed, but he comes back to me regardless. You know that fear when you are dating that you can’t be completely yourself because you’ll turn the other person off? Well, being married, it’s part of the package and it balances out. He says all the time, I’m here for you, no matter what. I don’t have to be completely self sufficient every moment of every day. I can let go and share my vulnerabilities and he’s got my back.
Also, she added she was worried about melding her life after being on my own for so long.
“Physically being in the house with other people is hard. He has two teenage girls, and I found myself suddenly part of a family. But I thought I would be set in my ways. I think now that I’m older, I’m much more willing to let things go, which before would have been irritating to me.
LBB: What do you miss the most about single life?
Laurie: Coming into my house and being able to decompress without anyone there to engage with.
LBB: Do you have any advice for the over 40 woman seeking love and marriage?
Laurie: Put yourself out there, but have no expectations. Let things happen. Don’t force it. And, work on yourself, work on yourself, work on yourself. And, don’t just let it be about doing things in order to meet someone. If you are desperate and you just want to be with someone, you won’t get the long-lasting, soul-comforting type of relationship.
LBB: What did your family say when you got married older?
Laurie: They were over-the-moon happy. My husband is such a wonderful man. They were worried I might screw it up! They love him. And, because he was happily married for more than 22 years, he can guide me in a fulfilling marriage. It’s different to be in a relationship with someone who already was in a happy, long-lasting relationship.
LBB: One word you would use to describe marriage?
Laurie: Comforting.
LBB Interview: Isn’t it Romantic?
Posted by: | CommentsName: Sabrina
Age: 53
Occupation: Owner of social media company
Sabrina says she never thought she would get married after 40. But, she did, and joined the ranks of the Late Bloomer Brides in 2004. Her romantic story began on Valentine’s Day that year. “We married on top of the Empire State Building, and then we repeated our vows on our fifth wedding anniversary.” Such a romantic story has to be told then! We interviewed Sabrina to get her sage advice on marrying – and what to look for – after age 40.
What was your age when you got married? 45
How did you meet your husband? I lived in Ohio my whole life, dating different people but not getting married. I wanted to, so I decided to move. I asked for a transfer from my employer, which had an office in New York City (and where my sister already lived). I just had a strong feeling I’d find my husband in New York. I arrived on July 3, stayed with my sister for a few days and on the following Monday moved into my new apartment. That day, I walked around the corner to look at neighborhood and came across a little pizza shop. And, there I saw him. I ordered a soda, and then continued to return every day for a month. Finally, we went out in August, and got married the following Valentine’s Day.
What did your family say when you got married older? My family thought I would never get married. I used to go to family reunions and they would question my “direction” asking me if I even like men. Yes, I like men, I just made bad choices. (Editorial note: Been there. Done that, too.) Once it was time, my family was mixed – some cautious, some ecstatic. My friends were very ecstatic.
What do you find the most surprising about marriage? There is such an appreciation for being married when getting married in your 40s — gratitude for the partnership, and the support in what you can do together. I also find a huge appreciation for time. You only live for so long anyway. When things are good, you think I wish I had met you 20 years earlier (But, she says, her Husband responds, you wouldn’t have liked me 20 years earlier. Wink.) It’s just sweeter. Plus you’re so different in your 20s.
What do you find surprising about marriage? Not much. It just gets better every day and better every year. I’m pleased with how things have gone, especially when you see things in the news about people having bad marriages.
What do you miss the most about single life? That is hard for me to answer. I miss things I did in Ohio and those experiences. But, they were based around my girlfriends. I do miss going out with girlfriends after work and having dinner. But, now, I want to come home and spend time with my husband.
Do you have any advice for the over-40 woman seeking love and marriage? Do not give up. Definitely do not settle. Do not settle for a relationship that does not honor you. It’s so easy to think, this is as good as it’s going to get. I’ll settle for this person. But, you are not put on this earth to be miserable with a mate.
I think in my early 20s, there was a guy I wanted to marry. But, my family said I didn’t have to. So, I didn’t. Then, after I just didn’t find anyone I felt I wanted to be married to, live in a house with, and be with every single day. I didn’t find the right person, until I saw my Husband and said this is it.
If you’re super picky, that might make it difficult. But, if you are normal and sane, don’t settle for someone who will disrespect you. Be open about it. Your husband can be a lawyer or a bus driver. But keep your horizons open for a good person.
What is one word you would use to describe marriage? Fun.
LBB Interview: Comforting
Posted by: | CommentsThe Late Bloomer Bride: Judith, Marketing Director, 53 years old
Married for the first time at age 49 1/2
Judith first met her current husband about 20 years ago in a bar. She says he remembers meeting her, but she tells us that she definitely remembers. “I recall he was very tall (still is). But, we didn’t date. And, I am sure we wouldn’t have worked out back then. We were different people than we are now,” she says.
Judith says while she never lived with a man before getting married, she did have several long-time relationships. She adds, “I was either not ready or hadn’t met the right man. Or both. I had quite a few suitors over the years. But I didn’t want to get married unless I was certain he was the right one. When he came along, I just knew.”
Now happily married, she answers some questions for our readers, including some advice for the over 40 woman seeking love and marriage.
LBB: What do you find the most surprising about marriage?
Judith: I was surprised how easy it’s been. It reinforces that he’s the right one for me. We dated for two years before getting married, and now have been married for four years. And, in all that time, we haven’t had a single argument. We are just so compatible.
LBB: What do you miss the most about single life?
Judith: I miss being able to go home at night and just have bowl of cheerios for dinner. (Ed.: He cooks and cleans, however, so she told us she is not complaining.) I miss watching TV in the middle of the night. He helps me be a little more regimented in my schedule. Getting protein for dinner and getting enough sleep. He’s been good for me and my health. I also might miss getting dolled up and going out with the girls, a little bit. But its passing thought. I wouldn’t go back to those days for anything.
LBB: Do you have any advice for the over 40 woman seeking love and marriage?
Judith: This will sound clichéd, but don’t give up. Don’t settle. It’s much better to be alone than to be with someone in a bad relationship. The most alone you feel is when you’re with the wrong man. So, don’t compromise in choosing your mate. Marriage is give and take. But, wait for someone who is compatible with you. When I think of men I dated in my 20s and think about being married to them now, it’s laughable. I have changed so much.
What did your family say when you got married older?
Judith: They were so happy for me. One girlfriend kept saying I wouldn’t do it. But, I knew I would. How I wish my parents were still alive and could have met him. He is so much like my dad. He’s funny. I can be myself with him. We go to bed laughing and wake up laughing.
LBB: How did you know he was the one?
Judith: It was just the most natural evolution. I never thought that he wasn’t the one. And also when I saw how he treated his mom and his pets. That told me what I needed to know. How they treat animals and interact with their mom and family is important.
LBB: One word you would use to describe marriage?
Judith: Comforting.
LBB interview: Arielle Ford – Delicious!
Posted by: | CommentsWe are fortunate and proud to have Arielle Ford, nationally recognized publicist and marketing expert, producer, author and consultant, as a member of our Late Bloomer Bride community. Arielle is the power behind www.soulmatesecret.com and author of newly-released The Soulmate Secret: How To Manifest The Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction.
(Follow her here: www.twitter.com/arielleford.)
But, in the meantime, below is a short interview with Arielle. Enjoy!
LBB: What was your age when you got married?
AF: 44
LBB: What do you find the most surprising about marriage?
AF: How much fun it is to have your best friend available 24/7 to enjoy life with.
LBB: What do you miss the most about single life?
AF: Nothing.
LBB: Do you have any advice for the over 40 woman seeking love and marriage?
AF: Never give up. I know FOR SURE that its not only possible but unless you want kids, advisable.
LBB: What is the one word you would use to describe marriage?
AF: Delicious!
Interview with a Late Bloomer Bride: Go Team!
Posted by: | CommentsAdela, 46, is a Late Bloomer Bride, who is our first (of I hope many) LBBs to tell us like it is!
LBB: What was your age when you got married?
Adela: 43
LBB: What do you find the most surprising about marriage?
Adela: It has made me be much more deliberate, in both significant and insignificant ways, knowing I impact another’s existence (actually the existence of two people, my husband and my 6 year old step-daughter). And, that’s a good thing as I feel, if everyone put a little more thought into one’s words/actions and how they affect others, we would all experience less conflict and have more satisfactory relationships at work, home, etc.
LBB: What do you miss the most about single life?
Adela: Having the house to myself, being able to make all the (sometimes snap) decisions on my own, being able to do things (and I don’t mean socializing necessarily, it could be running, grocery shopping, dancing) spur-of-the-moment [things]. (Note: I am not complaining, though.)
LBB: Do you have any advice for the over 40 woman seeking love and marriage?
Adela: Know and be happy with yourself; be a good communicator; be kind, period (even when disagreeing); and most importantly, choose wisely — better to be alone (and happy at least most of the time) than to be with someone and be lonely/miserable all of the time.
And, pursue your hobbies! If you do that, you’ll benefit in several ways: 1) You’ll have fun doing something you truly enjoy instead of being home alone and bored or lonely; 2) You’ll make friends with others who share the same interest and then you can also do other things together like meet for dinner, go to the movies, a theater show, apple picking etc.; 3) Perhaps you’ll meet someone you think you’d like to date and you’ll get to be around this person to see what he/she is like before possibly dating. Basically, get involved and then you’ll meet people!
LBB: What is the one word you would use to describe marriage?
Adela: Team!
