Husband’s final words to me as I left the house this morning? Vote.

I must give props to Husband for this directive. We are on opposite sides of the political spectrum. I suspect we cancel out each other’s votes every time. 

(I only suspect this because I follow the golden rule(s): Thou shall not divulge one’s salary or voting record to anyone at any time. Husband knows the first, but not the second.)

But, every election cycle, Husband still urges me to stop by the ole voting booth and cast the right votes.

He does try to sway me in the previous weeks with sly little remarks about how much taxes we’ll have to pay if I pull the wrong lever in the voting booth. But, in the end, he does have to live with respect my choice.

That’s the thing about getting married older – you inherit each other’s established viewpoints, past decisions, and long-time lifestyle predilections.

I try harder to not rail against  live with his preferences – like his voting record. Yes, it’s the (not so) little things in marriage that make it work – like respecting each other’s personal choices.

My stepmother reminded me that the most famous mixed-politics couple of all — Mary Matalin and James Carville — wrote a book on the subject of mixing love and political parties. Titled ”All’s Fair: Love, War & Running for President“, it covers the ultimate in opposites attracting: Democratic Carville helped manage President Clinton’s successful rise to the White House in 1992 while Republican Matalin was a major player in President Bush’s reelection campaign. They appear as television commentators frequently (and frequently together). Husband and I have seen them speak, live. This book, which I have not read (yet) explains how they worked against one another, professionally, but still managed to keep their love relationship going. Need a little help in that department? It might help!

Yes, R stands for Republican and D stands for Democrat. Elephant versus Donkey.

When you get married later in life, you can rest assured that you and Husband have already chosen which political side of the fence on which you reside. But, at first it doesn’t matter so much. In the beginning, you forgive each other their foibles and (ridiculous) beliefs. But, after a few years, there comes a moment when you realize he is not going to magically turn into a D just because you’re right you want him to.

Thankfully we didn’t get married during an election year. I know to be thankful now, because last year WAS an election year and – wow.

You see, I come from a big Democratic family. My mother went to Smith College, my father went to Brown University. Mom was a delegate for George McGovern in 1972 and dad was the Dean of Humanities for the local community college. Need I say more?

Husband comes from the South (not a given that you’ll be an R, but the likelihood grows). His mom was an accountant, his dad was worked for GE. Heck, Husband worked for GE for 26 years. You get the picture.

Lucky for us, little political news encroached upon our first two years of marriage. But, then the world had to wise up and nominate Obama for U.S. President in year three. Suddenly, Husband was acutely interested in who I was going to vote for. And, then Sarah Palin entered the picture. That is when things got really ugly.

When the political fighting was at an all time high, suddenly the gift of age – level-headedness – magically emerged.

Age does have some benefits, and making way for others’ opinions is usually one of them. (I realized then that God really knew what she was doing when she made me an LBB.)

Instead of letting things deteriorate, we came up with Political Ground Rules. Here they are:

• No watching the news and then turning to the other person and yelling at them. It’s not my fault Brian Williams said that. And, I forgive you, Husband, for Bill O’Reilly’s ideas.
• No saying Ds or Rs are stupid. But, saying the “government as a whole” is off its rocker was okay.
• No saying ALL Ds or Rs are, well, anything. Name names. People are people, and they come up with stupid things all by themselves, on both sides. Give them credit for it.
• No party has the lock on caring or intelligence. They both care and, for the most part, they are really smart people. Well, except for the big guy we tossed out on January 20.

What do you do with conflicting political ideas? Any words of wisdom to impart?