(Photo taken from my front porch two weeks ago.)

The InStyle magazine that went into the tub with it also cannot be resurrected by hanging it over a chair on the porch. The pages are permanently stuck together ensuring you will never, ever know what cover girl Charlize Theron drinks to look that way after age 35.

It matters not how many times a Westie throws up the mulch he ate earlier that day. He will continue to chow down on said mulch.

Only when I am starting to feel like I’m coming down with strep throat and could really, really use 8 hours of sleep does Husband choose to spend the night snoring. All night.

It also is only when these 8 hours are necessary that said Westie throws up mulch in his crate at 3 a.m. making his mommy believe he is choking to death and she will need to deliver the heimlich maneuver holding a flashlight so not to awake (for the 100th time) snoring Husband.

Begging does nothing to make Husband roll over to stop snoring.

People at work do not care how much sleep you get. They still want their press release, white paper, case study, report, brow soothing, blog posts, and whatevahs.

You really can spend more money in 7 months with a puppy than you ever did on your first car.

The weekend does always finally come around. If you can just be patient. Just be sure you have some back up reading.

(Taken from my front porch.)

Speaking of Garden Week, it poured buckets this year. But, I made sure to apologize to all the estate homeowners as my Hunter’s dragged cut grass from their gardens across their orientals. After four stops, my friend Gretchen (who gifted me the tour) and I found the rain had generated quite an appetite. We saw that Keswick Country Club was on the Garden Week list, so why not grab a nosh there? It never occured to us — when the  waitress asked for our membership number — that we we were essentially crashing. Apparently Garden Week only extends to the outside. But, oh, well, we had already ordered and, after agreeing to pay in cash, they let us nosh anyway.

My friends Tracey and Jacob through a gourmet feast for me one night. I was greeted at the door with a welcome cocktail. It didn’t occur to me to take a picture until it was gone. But, yes, it involved vodka.

And, look at how the vodka stayed chilled!  (There are clearly more things one can do with a garden than tour it.)

The first course.

Which involved more beverages.

And more food (we must get our vegetable and fruit servings in).

The main course was also healthy (trout!).

And, Jacob was sure to remove the head and tail for me. (Some day I’ll have to tell you the story about me being in a Paris 4 star restaurant, and getting yelled at by the French chef when I asked them to remove the head and tail. I was scarred for life.)

Much more wine was consumed throughout. And, of course, we had to have a little chocolate in between as well. Enter the chocolate lips.

The lips really got into the spirit of things as the night progressed.

Then, of course we had to have official dessert. Yes, that is a red velvet mini cupcake on top, which was mine. ALL MINE. And, because it was so small, that meant I got to have several more, of course.

And, because one can never have too much chocolate, we had hot chocolate in real chocolate cups.

I spent Sunday sugar-detoxing.  But, it was worth it.